you say “cocksucker” like it’s a bad thing: an open letter


Hi, drunk guys at the UCLA-Oregon game today. These are some things you should know.

1. Screaming “Alex likes balls!” at your friend on the field does not constitute wit. Especially when you substitute “cock” for “balls” in subsequent yells, removing all trace of a pun, such as it was.

2. People like you and ways of thinking like yours encourage lovely people who do happen to like male bits to keep quiet about it. This means that, gay or straight, you are going to get less enthusiastic sex and less of it, period.

3. It almost goes without saying, but your hostility toward women and gay or bisexual men is cringingly obvious.

By the way, the same chilling effect that you’ve brought down on yourselves also plagues the sex lives of kind men (not to be confused with “Nice Guys™”), bisexual women and lesbians. And heaven help those people who don’t fit into any of these neat categories.

Your attitude toward sex and bodies hurts anyone who has or is interested in the sexual organs of either gender. In short, everyone. Throw in some FGM, and you’re a one-group masterclass in patriarchy. It might be impressive if it weren’t so commonplace.

4. Please read no. 2 again. Think about that next time you can’t get a woman to talk to you, even with all the smooth tricks at your command. Disrespectful sex isn’t fun sex, and we can tell that’s all you have to offer. It’s coming off you in waves.

6 Responses to “you say “cocksucker” like it’s a bad thing: an open letter”

  1. But wait. You mean 1 through 4 don’t work? I bought a Mustang and everything.

  2. 2 vorare

    I fully admit to using my penis as a kind of car substitute.

  3. I fully expect to see that title attached to spam in a few weeks :p

    Amen though! I find myself staring at guys like that, waiting for them to acknowledge me so that I can ask if being an ass has every really worked out for them.

  4. 4 vorare

    Hee, good point. A few weeks ago I started getting all this penis enlargement spam, out of nowhere. Buh?

  1. 1 BOINKOLOGY | Boinkable Links
  2. 2 how very nice « vorare

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s


Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

%d bloggers like this: